So one of the hardest things about having this disease, is believing that no one will want you because of your skin. Sometimes you doubt yourself, and you may believe that no one is capable of truly loving you. This is how I use to feel. For more details about my love life read a earlier post “Love and the secret… Psoriasis.” http://beingmeinmyownskin.com/2012/03/09/love-and-the-secret-psoriasis/
You CAN and WILL find someone who will love you with or without your disease. But in the meantime here are some tips on dealing with dating and your skin!
Do what makes you comfortable while on a date. If you’re not comfortable with your skin yet, avoid wearing clothing that would make you paranoid or uneasy. I’m not telling you to hide, but I AM telling you to do what’s best for you. If you do decide to wear short sleeves, shorts, skirt, ect., I would recommend explaining your condition to your date before you meet up to avoid a possible awkward situation. I’m assuming that if you’re comfortable with showing your skin off, that you are ok with talking about it with other people. Personally, when I was dating, I wasn’t comfortable with showing off my skin. I would wear cute clothes that covered me up. By doing that I was able to allow my true personality to shine, and didn’t worry about who was looking at me or staring at my skin while I was on my date.
Talk about it with your date. At some point you need to tell the person you’re dating about your psoriasis. That could be on the first date, or 3 months later, it just depends on how comfortable you are and the chemistry that’s there. Besides, even if you don’t end up in a relationship, at least you have educated one more person. And you may be surprised, they may already know someone who has it. I hear so many psoriasis sufferers who say they are having sex with a person who is not aware about their skin issue. If you’re being intimate with someone, but you don’t feel comfortable enough with telling them about your condition, you really need to re-evaluate the relationship. If you’re too embarrassed to tell them about your psoriasis, how in the world can you have sex with them? The point is, talk about it. Explain the disease to them. If they can’t accept it, kick them to the curb!
Find creative ways to tell them. I use to be really up-tight about my skin. I hated talking about it. I never mentioned it while on the first date, but I would eventually tell the guy I was dating about my condition. Now showing them was a WHOOOLLLEEEE different ball game. With my last boyfriend (Who is now my husband), I would create fun comfortable ways to tell him about my skin. We would play the question game. We would ask each other questions to get to know each other. He would ask me something like, “What’s one thing you would change about yourself?” or “What’s something about you, that nobody knows?” These questions allowed me to talk about my skin in a non-threatening, but fun, interesting way. Then it would usually lead to a healthy discussion.
ALWAYS REMEMBER… That just because you have this disease, does NOT mean that you must settle for any body’s bull crap. If a person is not treating you right, don’t think that you have to stay, I don’t care how much they accept your skin. If they could be open to your skin condition, someone else will be able to do the same thing too! You deserve the best just like anyone else. The End.